Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
***********
Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
Marriage:
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
***********
Divorce:
Future tense of marriage
***********
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
***********
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
***********
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
***********
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .
***********
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
***********
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
***********
Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
***********
Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
***********
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
***********
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
***********
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest… Except that he got caught.
***********
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
***********
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Boss:
Someone who comes early when you are late and is late when you come early.
***********
Classic:
Books, which people praise but do not read.
***********
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake that everybody believes he got the largest piece.
***********
Committee:
A group of individuals who can do nothing individually but sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
***********
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
***********
Conference Room:
A venue where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody agrees later.
***********
Dictionary:
A place where pay, reward and success come before work.
***********
Doctor:
A medical person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with bills.
***********
Etc.:
A grammatical sign used to make people believe that you know more than you do.
***********
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
***********
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
***********
Lecture:
The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to that of the students without going through the brains of either.
***********
Life Insurance:
A contact that keeps you poor all your life so that you can be rich after.
***********
Marriage:
An agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
***********
Nurse:
A person who wakes you to give you sleeping pills.
***********
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous homely life.
***********
Philosopher:
A man who torments himself all his life to become wise after death.
Politician:
Someone who shakes your hand before the elections and your confidence after.
***********
Saturday and Sunday:
Are strong days as the others are weak days (weekdays).
***********
School:
A place where Papa pays and son plays.
***********
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
***********
Tears:
A hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
***********
Yawn:
The only time a husband can open his mouth.
***********
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you
can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and
a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest…except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic Books: which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who pain himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.
