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Watching body language in addition to what is spoken might just save you from
being a victim of fraud, or it could help you figure out when somebody’s being
genuine. The police do this during an interrogation.
You have to learn the little facial and body expressions that can help you
distinguish a lie from the truth. Here are some steps and tips to do so.
1. Learn to recognize deflections. Usually when people are lying, they will tell
stories that are true but are deliberately aimed at not answering the question
you asked. If a person responds to the question “Did you ever hit your wife?”
with an answer such as “I love my wife, why would I do that?”, the suspect is
technically telling a truth, but they are avoiding answering your original
question, which usually means they’re lying.
2. Mind exaggerated details. See if they are telling you too much, like “My mom
is living in France, isn’t it nice there? Don’t you like the Eiffel tower? It’s
so clean there.” Too many details may tip you off to their desperation to get
you to believe them.
3. We have illustrators, and manipulators. Illustrators are a sign of telling
the truth, this is when you are using your hand gestures to talk. moving your
hands while you are talking is a sign of telling the truth. We also have
manipulators. These, are the opposite of illustrators. An example of a
manipulator can be playing with your wrist-watch, your jewelry, pulling on your
ear lobe, etc. People who behave this way tend to be hiding something. The last,
commonly unknown sign of hiding something is reptile tissue, most people have a
reptile tissue in their nose, and it itches when you’re hiding something. But,
before you assume that the person is hiding something, please establish a base
line.
4. Base Line: A base line is what someone acts like when they are not lying. You
have to get a base line before you proceed with anything. Imagine you have a
itch on your nose ever since you got out of bed. And someone thinks you are
hiding something because you scratch your nose when answering a question…oops.
What the person should have done is establish a baseline. To establish a
baseline, you need to see the person when they aren’t lying. Try asking what
their name is, and what they do for a living.
5. Look out for micro-expressions. Micro-expressions are split second facial
expressions that flash on a person’s face for a less than a 25th of a second and
reveal the person’s true emotion underneath their facade. Some people may be
naturally sensitive to them, but almost anybody can easily train to be able to
detect microexpressions. Put focus to the upper and lower eyelids, the corner of
the eyes, the mouth and the muscles surrounding the mouth, the eyebrows and
forehead.
6. Shaking hands… When you meet the person who you think is deceiving you, shake
their hand. Take note of the temperature. When you are sure they are lying to
you, pretend to be leaving and quickly grab their hand for a “Good-Bye”
Handshake. If the temperature is colder, they are fearful.
7. Notice the person’s eye movements. Contrary to popular belief, a liar does
not always avoid eye contact. Humans naturally break eye contact and look at
non-moving objects to help them focus and remember. Liars may deliberately make
eye contact to seem more sincere. You can usually tell if a person is
remembering something or making something up based on their eye’s movements.
When someone is remembering details, their eyes move to the right (your right).
When someone is making something up, their eyes move to the left. It’s usually
reversed for lefties. (although not always true.)
8. Be aware of their emotional responses
Timing and duration tends to be off when someone is lying. If you ask someone a
question and they respond directly after the question, there is a chance that
the person is lying. This can be because they have rehearsed the answer, or
they’re already thinking about the answer just to get it over with and move
forward. A delayed answer can be a sign of lying. To tell the truth takes 2
parts of your brain at most, however to lie takes 6 parts of your brain. If the
person has a long story then you can ask them to tell it backwards. Liars have
trouble telling stories backwards, because in their mind they have rehearsed it
forwards, but not backwards. And, as with smiling, facial expressions of a poor
liar will be limited to the mouth area.
Pay close attention to the person’s reaction to your questions. A liar will
often feel uncomfortable and turn their head or body away, or even
subconsciously put an object between the two of you. Also, while an innocent
person would go on the offensive (usually responding with anger, which will
usually be revealed in a microexpression directly after you say you don’t
believe them), a guilty person will often go immediately on the defensive
(usually by saying something to reassure their facts, such as deflections).
9. Listen for a subtle delay in responses to questions. An honest answer comes
quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of what they have told
others to avoid inconsistency and to make up new details as needed. However,
when people look up to remember things, it does not necessarily mean that they
are lying.
10 .Be conscious of their usage of words. Verbal expression can give many clues
as to whether a person is lying, such as:
Using/repeating your own exact words when answering a question
Not using contractions
Avoiding direct statements or answers (deflections)
Speaking excessively in an effort to convince
Speaking in a monotonous tone
Speaking in muddled sentences
Vocal pitch rising
Using classic qualifiers such as “I’m only going to say this once…”
Using humor and sarcasm to avoid the subject
Using Deflections (beating around the bush, not answering the question.)
11. Allow silence to enter the conversation.
If they’re lying, they will become uncomfortable if you stare at them for a
while with a look of disbelief. If they’re telling the truth, they will usually
become angry or just frustrated (lips pressed together, brows down, upper eyelid
tensed and pulled down to glare).
12 .Change the subject quickly. While an innocent person would be confused by
the sudden shift in the conversation and may try to return to the previous
subject, a liar will be relieved and welcome the change. You may see the person
become more relaxed and less defensive.
13. Watch his or her throat. A person may constantly be either trying to
lubricate their throat when he/she lies by swallowing or clearing their throat
to relieve the tension built up. A person’s voice can also be a good lie
indicator; they may suddenly start talking faster or slower than normal, or
their tension may result in a higher-pitched speaking tone. See baseline info
14 .Check the facts. If you have the means, check the validity of what the liar
is saying. A skilled liar might give some reason why you shouldn’t talk to the
person who could confirm or deny a story. Perhaps the liar will infer that the
person is particularly favourable towards the liar, or that the person would
have little time for you. These are probably lies themselves, so might be
worthwhile overcoming your reluctance and to check with the person you’ve been
warned against.
15. Judge the character. Most people tell the truth most of the time, and will
cherish their reputation. Liars will ’sail close to the wind’ – they’ll
artificially bolster their reputation so that they seem more credible or
desirable than they actually are.
If you overhear a version of an anecdote that seems wrong, listen to those alarm
bells – it might be a liar.
If someone takes the time out to ingratiate themselves with you out of the blue,
it’s very flattering, but you have to ask, why are they doing that?
If John rubbishes or smears people more than normal, John is possibly putting in
the groundwork so the audience are more receptive to John, and less receptive to
the people who John has lied to – they’re discredited before they can say ‘John
is a liar’.
Note -
Some people are extremely experienced or even professional liars. He or she has
told their made up story so many times that they are actually believable,
getting all their days, dates and times down perfectly! Sometimes, you may need
to simply accept that you can’t catch every lie all the time.
If you do catch a lie, don’t reveal it to the liar; they will just adjust their
story. Once you know one thing that is not true, you can use it to find more of
the net of lies, and other nets of lies. Then decide which points you reveal and
to whom.
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