# The Mathematics Of Life

We all studied mathematics in school, but much of what we learnt is not applicable to our day-to-day lives. There is, however, a whole other field of mathematics that we were not taught ? the math of life. These are the prime equations and proofs that anyone should know, as they apply to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit

Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production

Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion

Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + Smart woman = Romance

Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair

Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage

Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy

SHOPPING PROOFS

A man will pay \$2 – for a \$1 item he needs.

A woman will pay \$1 – for a \$2 item that she doesn’t need.

General Formulas:

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man –
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman – you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change – but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change – but she does.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
(Then she worries about the husband…)
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who finds such a man.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.