Ramblings of A Retired Mind

Ramblings of A Retired Mind

Ramblings of a Retired Mind

Ramblings of A Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those
cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what
they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized
that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is
‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are
just too tired to bounce it.’

I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when
your chest is falling into your drawers!

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be
notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write,
‘A Good doctor’!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do…write to these men?
Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they
are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me,
they were cramming for their finals.

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