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The Mathematics Of Life

We all studied mathematics in school, but much of what we learnt is not applicable to our day-to-day lives. There is, however, a whole other field of mathematics that we were not taught ? the math of life. These are the prime equations and proofs that anyone should know, as they apply to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

OFFICE ARITHMETICThe Mathematics Of Life

Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit

Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production

Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion

Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

ROMANCE MATHEMATICSThe Mathematics Of Life

Smart man + Smart woman = Romance

Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair

Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage

Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy

SHOPPING PROOFSThe Mathematics Of Life

A man will pay $2 – for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 – for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

General Formulas:

HAPPINESS


To be happy with a man –
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman – you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

The Mathematics Of Life

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

The Mathematics Of Life


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change – but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change – but she does.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
(Then she worries about the husband…)
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who finds such a man.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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