I know such English that I will leave the British behind. You see sir, I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English, I can run English, because English is such a funny language.
1. What is your good name?
One of the most common of mistakes, this term simply means, ‘What’s your name?’. This is often a direct, word by word translation of the same phrase in Hindi, “Aapka shubh naam?”. Shubh translates to good and most Indians translate the phrase without bothering to make alterations.
2. I have a doubt.
While in the rest of the English world, to harbour a doubt is generally associated with doubting someone’s ability, in India, to have a doubt means you have a question about something.
3. Passing out of college
The normal world uses ‘graduation’ or ‘convocation’. Indian English makes it, “I passed out of my college.” If you pass out in the US or Australia or the UK, you would probably be rushed to a hospital, not lauded.
Indians refer to anything they like or that is really good as being ‘first-class’. So anything from a movie to a pani-puri could be ‘first-class’ in the country.
5. Do one thing.
Once again, literally translated from ‘ek kaam kar’, the term is used by Indians whenever they want someone to take up their advice and act in a particular way. Eg: Do one thing, cook cabbage soup for lunch today.
6. Out of station.
Out of station = out of town. I’m out of station means I’m on a vacation or not in town. It does not mean you are out of a particular station or inside a particular station, like Harry Potter on Platform 9 3/4
What do you do when you do not want to postpone a meeting but reschedule it ahead of it’s intended time? Simple. You prepone it! Literally using the antonym for post-, Indians derived this simple way of stating something will happen ahead of time.
8. Mother promise, father promise, God promise.
Used mostly by youngsters, these phrases offer a convenient way out of any tricky situation where the speaker does not really want to put himself/herself in danger by ‘crossing his heart and dying’.
9. Doing the needful.
We will do the needful. Only and only the needful. Nothing more, nothing less. ‘Please do the needful’ is a common request which simply asks the person to finish the task.
10. Like that only.
We might be punny or phunny but we are like that only! We only add only at the end of sentences. Or at the start of them. Or anywhere we want. So we will talk like this only. Problem much?