Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads We may
never piss this way again.
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
Boss: I’ll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I’ll raise it to
6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say Uh-huh or Yes dear or I’m sorry ?
Pilot asking permission to land said, Guess who?
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, Guess where!
 Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
 Having one child makes you a parent; having two or more makes you are a referee.
 Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
 I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
 A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
 Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
 Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
 You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
 Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
 Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
 Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
 My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
 Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
 Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
 A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
 You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
 It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
 Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
 Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
 Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
 They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
 Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it…….!!!